Slater will hit the half century a few days after Pipe finishes. There’ll be a Netflix series worth of material over the course of the next year, and I can’t wait. In what might or might not be his final year on Tour we can expect peak Kelly, in all his mad, mad glory. ![]() It’ll be super fun to see him swing in from behind and start decimating people’s dreams in a ruthless game of catch-up.Īnd of course, lady and gentlemen, let’s not forget about one Robert Kelly Slater. He’ll have whittled all the sticks in the forest before long. It’s ripe for someone unexpected to shine this year I reckon.Īnyway, let’s face it, there’s no way Medina quiets his inner beast for more than a couple of comps. I’m considerably less excited without Medina in the mix, of course, but I’m looking forward to getting a handle on the new guys. ![]() Isn’t this the whole point of it all? Because without one, how might you recognise the other? If for nothing else, stick around and watch me fail in a blaze of glorious self-loathing. This gig was surely a spiral to full relapse?īut, in the same way when you’re a kid you might hold your hand over a candle then keep going back to do it longer, I was a bit curious to see what happens when I simply threw myself into the flame.Īnd so I thought I’d give it a punt, because I like writing, and I like Derek, and I like (most of) you, too. Is this something akin to military grade torture? Did I want to find out?Īnd of course this melting pot of boredom, sleep-deprivation, whisky and lust for risk would be a catalyst for once again descending into deep, black gambling doom.Īs many of you know, I am a hopeless addict. Then there’s the challenge of shouldering the dull ache of so many hours of pro surfing, especially with the nasally cadences of Joe Turpel as a soundscape. This probably isn’t conducive to patience for two yowling, scrapping toddlers at home or 100-odd volatile teenagers on a conveyor belt each day at work. It’d be whisky, caffeine and insomnia for the duration of the comps, I’d need to accept that. Most events happen at entirely unsociable hours for me. Some of his contest wraps were more entertaining than the heats themselves, and I’m not even sure that’s hyperbole. I know that Steve turned comp reporting into art, and I appreciated it as much as anyone. It’s a cold and poisoned chalice, of course. ![]() Hesitant to the degree that my first reaction was Fuck No. Shortly after Longtom flew the coop, Derek asked me if I’d consider taking on his contest writing gig. Isn’t this the whole point of it all? Because without one, how might you recognise the other?" "Join me for the joy and the pain of the tour's opening gambit.
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